accept that there things you can never accept

TRIGGER WARNING for art and writing (concentration camps, holocaust, persecution, violence) 

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: accept that there things you can never accept. 

I haven't written in days. I haven't wanted to. The idea of writing down words about acceptance has felt disingenuous. 

I know that I have a disclaimer for this month's topic of "Acceptance". This week I am struggling with the topic; Personally, professionally, and politically. 

So I have been ruminating and deciding whether or not I wanted to use this blog as a platform for my current non-acceptance of global events. 

I want to talk about concentration camps existing in 2017. 

I'm not convinced that the significance of this atrocity is sinking in around the world. 

In Chechnya, gay men are being put in concentration camps and (legally) brutally beaten by their kidnappers. 

This is not 1933. 

This alone should make the world take notice. Homophobia is so globally-rampant and accepted that we don't have world leaders stepping in with sanctions and bans and boycotts. LGBTQ people are subhuman. 

But .... who will be next? 

I don't know how to phrase this thought in any other way than how I am going to write it. I want to first apologize in advance for how it may come across. I mean it respectfully. 

I find that, as a faith, Jehovah's Witnesses are very close to the bottom of the religious hierarchy. They are the punchline for jokes. They are seen and commented on as the crazy religious zealots who knock on your door and try to convert you. 

I was raised as an atheist. I have my own beliefs. They are irrelevant here. Faith interests me. I research many faiths. I ask people of many faiths a whole lot of questions. I only mention faith here because I think it's important to state that I am not writing this as a religious post. This post is about my inability to accept persecution and hate. 

This week in Russia, the Supreme Court ruled that JWs are "extremists", and banned JW in the country. This means it is against the law to be JW. It is illegal to practice the faith. All JW property is seized by the government. People who practice JW can be jailed. 

Why am I talking about this in a post about my inability to accept? 

I am scared. 

I am scared that it will be "easier" or "convenient" to jail JWs in the concentration camps in Chechnya where gay men are being held. 

And then, who will be next? 

I'm jumping the gun. I'm overreacting. I'm fear mongering. I'm conjecturing. Or maybe I'm thinking historically. Maybe I'm thinking that acts of hate declared as acts of public safety are a slippery slope to persecution and genocide. 

In 2013, I had the opportunity to go to Hitler's lair, named  "Eagle's Nest" (Kehlsteinhaus). 

I rode in his elevator and wondered who he would have had in there with him. 

I stood at his fireplace and wondered what was discussed and decided there. 

In 2013, I had the opportunity, and honour, to visit Mauthausen Concentration Camp. 

I saw where people were jailed, left to die, and/or murdered. 

I am not minimizing the genocide of Jews in WWII. My intention here is to draw attention to other groups targeted by Nazi Germany. And the ways in which targeting a religious group only leads to more hate and more violence. My purpose is to bring awareness to the fact that hate leads to hate and we have historical examples of this since the beginning of time. But we also have people alive RIGHT NOW. Survivors of concentration camps and death camps. This isn't a long ago part of history that sits in a textbook. We have people in concentration camps TODAY. 

One of the groups targeted by Hitler's regime were Jehovah's Witnesses. 

Mauthuasen was not a Jewish death camp. It was a concentration camp. That's where people outside of, or against, the Nazi regime were jailed. This camp held people from all over Europe whose crimes were based on following particular religions, being LGBTQ, being a political resistor, or speaking out. 

The photo in the top left corner is of the swimming pool the guards used for recreation, in front of the jail. The bottom right photo is the code used to label the prisoners' clothing to identify their "crime". I have left out the photos of the oven, the place where people were hung, and the barracks where the sick were left to die beside the soccer field where spectators came to watch professional matches. I left out the photos that show how close the nearest farms were. 

Respect and diversity and religious freedoms are important aspects of our society. Are there groups of people who, in the name of religion, create "extremist" groups that harm or cause violence and death? Of course there are. Isis, Westboro Baptist Church ... 

To declare an entire religion "extremist" is dangerous. To question a religion, to explore its tenants, to confront its beliefs is our right. To call a particular group using a religion to justify violence and murder as "extremist" is entirely different than making a law to say the entire religion is outlawed. The fact that a government can outlaw an entire faith is terrifying to me. 

We do not get to pick and choose whose rights are human rights. 

We DO get to decide how to live our lives and how to treat others.

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

(I am including the link to this post because it feels related. https://www.someecards.com/news/politics/white-supremacist-muslim-history/)

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

reply to a compliment with a simple "thank you

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: reply to a compliment with a simple "thank you".

This may be the hardest acceptance suggestion so far! How many times are you given a compliment to which you respond with all the reasons why whatever you are being complimented on is untrue? 

1: "You're such a great friend." 

2: "I'm just doing what I would want someone to do for me." 

1: "you are so kind."

2: "I try. Sometimes I'm so selfish."

1: "you're very talented."

2: "I'm still learning."

1: "this soup is delicious!"

2: "oh thanks, it needs more salt though."

Am I right? 

Being modest is socially acceptable. Celebrating yourself is sometimes considered boastful. 

The things I explain away:

• My masters degree
• My art
• This blog
• Things I do for friends 
• Things I do for strangers 
• My teaching practice 

Let's try to own our compliments by replying with a simple "thank you". 

The voice in your head will say all the things. You can listen. And you can keep it as a voice in your head. We don't need to explain away what is wonderful in ourselves, or about ourselves, or our accomplishments. 

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

accept that indulgence is not a crime

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: accept that indulgence is not a crime. 

To indulge means to allow yourself to enjoy pleasure. 

"Indulge" is not a negative word. Indulgence is not selfish. It's not gross. It is simply accepting that there are pleasures in the world and that you are ALLOWED to actually enjoy them! 

You deserve to nourish yourself. You deserve to eat food packed with nutrients. You deserve to have a bowl of fruit on your counter, to put fresh berries in your yogurt, to eat piles of steamed vegetables, or crunchy salads. 

You deserve to take pleasure in your food. Tell the voice in your head that is saying words like "cheat", "junk", "bad", "fat", to SHUT UP!!!! You don't have to "make up for it" tomorrow. You don't need to feel guilty for celebrations that involve food.  

There are no good or bad foods. There is only food. Eating balanced nutrition is important. Choosing not to deprive yourself on celebratory days is equally important. 

Teaching your children to make "healthy choices" includes teaching them to enjoy chocolate without guilt. 

So eat the lamb korma, turkey, ham, haroset, raspberry macaroons, pork chops, apple matzo cake, mashed potatoes, flaunes, gravy, injera, cheese smothered broccoli, haleem, coconut kheer, koulouraka, Easter bread, scalloped potatoes, mithai, dinner rolls, keftdes arni, samosa, cranberry sauce, karajni, butter, kitfo, cakes, cookies, pastries, cheese trays, aloo tikki, chocolate bunnies and eggs, and ANY OTHER FOOD YOU WANT TO EAT!!! 

Depriving yourself simply makes you deprived. 

YOU DESERVE TO NOURISH YOURSELF AND THAT INCLUDES GUILT-FREE ENJOYMENT OF ANY FOOD THAT YOU WANT AT YOUR CELEBRATORY DINNER AND NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE OR COMMENT ... NOT EVEN YOU!!!! 

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

Task 1: 40 Acts of Kindness

When I was 9, I wrote in my diary that I wanted to change the world when I grew up. I'm told that I'm a grown-up now. I want to spend this year spreading kindness because it's the only way I know how to create change. 

For my 40th birthday, I asked for a list of 40 acts of kindness I could complete this year.

I believe that kindness and compassion are the only things that will keep our world from completely falling apart. 

One small act leads to another. Even the act of asking for tasks led to people in my life thinking about kind things a person could do. 

Today I completed Task #1

I chose to write a card to each child in my classroom thanking them for something that they taught me. It was enlighteningly easy and beautifully difficult. It's easy to come up with lists of things like the kids who hold doors for me, or ask me how my body feels, or ask if I need help. 

I didn't want to write a boring card talking about things that any other kid could have demonstrated. I wanted to be specific. 

Thank you for teaching me:

• There are many ways to communicate
• To listen in the silence to find brilliance
• To find humour in hard situations
• A person can be resilient, brave, gentle, fierce, and kind without knowing it
• To be patient 
• much kindness can be in one heart
• To have empathy for all living things 
• For challenging me to think and making me have to work hard!
• There is a possible solution to every problem if you think it through and get creative

I hope that each child who reads the words on their card, smile, and say something nice to someone else. 

Be Kind,

To yourself too

xo

there will be a time when you will have to stand up for what is right

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: accept that there will be a time when you will have to stand up for what is right. 

"First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—

Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out— 

Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— 

Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me."

- Martin Niemöller

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

you won't always follow the path you started on

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: accept that you won't always follow the path you started on. 

Today was supposed to be "accept that embracing a situation can change its impact." But my brain took me on a whole new path and I had to change the topic. I just can't bring myself to offer inspiration and affirmations about the thing I struggle with most!! 

This morning I woke up early as usual. First day of a long weekend and I'm up at 7am wishing I could sleep in like I could a few years ago. So I slowly stretched out the kinks in my body, doing my morning routine of trying to get my body to do what I need it to do. I made myself a chai latte, put it in a travel mug, and took the dog outside. 

Today is cold and sunny. I walked the dog until I found a park with a bench. I'm sitting in the sun now, embracing the quiet of an early morning. Embracing the coming of spring, the changing of seasons, the returning of blossoms, and the life that I have. 

This idea of the willingness to embrace a situation was a challenge for me, because not all situations are embraceable. 

There is nothing that is more enraging to me than someone saying that you just need to change your outlook when things are hard. Because that, my kind readers, is a load of crap. There are horrible things in life entirely beyond our control. Death, violence, assault, war, human-to-human atrocities ... these cannot, and must not, be framed by improving your outlook. 

Gay men are currently being rounded up in Chechnya and put into concentration camps. Sources are saying they are beaten daily, sometimes to death. The spokesperson for the government says that it's impossible that these camps exist because there ARE no gay people in Chechnya and that if there were, their families would have already sent them far away to never return. "Nobody can detain or harass anyone who is simply not present in the republic," said Alvi Karimov.

Humans. 

In concentration camps. 

For the purpose of extermination. 

Again. 

Denial. 

Again. 

That can't be reframed with a positive outlook. My rage and fear about it can't be improved by happy thoughts or positive affirmations. 

So how CAN outlook affect your situation? What are things that suck that we can accept and also embrace? I am not the kind of person who believes that if you say positive things and turn the negative into a positive that life will be rosy. Sometimes things are shitty. I believe in crying and wrapping yourself up in a blanket to cocoon when things are hard. I believe in saying "this sucks and I'm sad." It's okay to be sad. We live in this society where being fake-happy is encouraged and appreciated. "How are you?" is habit. "Good and you?" is habit. Meaningless exchanges of social etiquette. 

What we can do is find the moments of contentment that exist. Embrace that life is full of ups and downs. Embrace the changes that have the potential to be positive. Embrace potential. Embrace that our control over life is really just an illusion. 

Yesterday I was given my teaching assignment for September. It is not an assignment that I wanted. It is not a change that I wanted. Do I have any control over it? Sure. I can transfer to a different school. I can interview for other schools. I can leave teaching and go back to school to be a child psychotherapist (a dream of mine). I can go back to school to do a PhD in Feminist Neuroscience ... a field I only discovered YESTERDAY!!! I can also embrace the challenge of learning about a different disability than the one I have specialized in for 13 years. I can embrace researching teaching strategies, assessment methods, modifications, and creating a whole new program. I have choices. 

I don't agree that I have the choice about how I feel. 

Feelings are just feelings. They exist. Trying to control or change your feelings is fake. All you're doing is taking those emotions and stuffing them down inside of you to bubble out later in unrelated, inappropriate times. Like yelling at your kid when they spill their cereal, when you're actually mad that your partner forgot to buy bread 6 days ago. 

Feelings ebb and flow. Our best way to function is to allow the emotions to happen. Sit with the discomfort and tolerate the distress. The emotion will subside. Feel your sadness. Cry. It's okay. And when you're ready, the tears will stop. I'm not saying to stay in bed for a week. I'm saying that suppressing the sad can mean the sad comes back later, and bigger, and can lead to staying in bed for a month. 

Let's embrace the embraceable and accept that there are unembraceable things too. 

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

accept that you are angry

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: accept that you are angry. 

Anger is a valid emotion that we are socialized to believe is wrong. We are taught to blend in, be quiet, and allow injustices to happen to ourselves and others. 

Someone told me that anger is a message telling you that something needs to change. 

Holding onto anger, or pushing in down inside of you, or turning to any harmful or destructive behaviours only hurts you. And creates more anger and resentment deep inside of you. 

So go ahead, be angry. Let yourself feel the rage in your body. Where do you feel it? What is your body doing? Breathe deeply and slowly and let the feeling flow through you. Then decide what needs to change and what your options might be. 

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

you won't always know where you will land

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: you won't always know where you will land. 

Your life journey is a constant evolution of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what you believe, what you look like, what you feel like, and all the other things over which you have no control. 

Sometimes when things feel stable and routine and safe, we suddenly have the rug pulled out from underneath us. It's times like these that feel unfair. That make us question our life. Perhaps question faith. And ask, why me? Why us? Why now? 

Life is predictably unpredictable. And despite how horribly difficult it can be ... horrendously painfully unfair ... loss and grief and trauma can touch us and change us. And you have survived every single thing that has ever happened to you. 

EVER. 

Every. Single. Thing. 

We don't always know where we will land. And eventually, we WILL land.  Firm ground will come. 

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

there will always be traffic

April of Acceptance Daily Idea: there will always be traffic and being frustrated won't make it go away. 

There are so many things in life that are frustrating or annoying or stupid. There are things that are just so stupid that you feel like you just don't have the patience for it. 

Traffic sucks. We are constantly in a rush to get somewhere. And we KNOW there will be traffic. We KNOW it will suck. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ALL THE CARS START MOVING FASTER!! 

Driving to the hospital when my mom had a heart attack, I cut someone off. The guy honked and yelled. And it occurred to me that every time I get pissed off at someone while I'm driving, I don't know their story. I don't know why the other driver is feeling the way they are feeling, or what is going on in their life. Now when a driver does something stupid, I tell myself that maybe their mother just had a heart attack. 

It's better to breathe, relax your muscles, don't squeeze the steering wheel, listen to some music, and accept that you will eventually get where you are going. 

Be kind,

To yourself too

xo

***NOTE: "acceptance" in the context of my writing is about the belief that all living things are entitled to respect, regardless of their actions and beliefs. "Acceptance" in this context is NOT about being silent, ignoring injustices and self and others, or expecting that we can say something is okay when it isn't. In this context I am referring to the idea that we cannot control what happens around us, we can only control how to respond to those things. 

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira 

Kindness

For my 40th birthday, I received 40 kind tasks for me to complete this year. I am grateful for the opportunity to spread ripples of kindness.