Never give up. You are wonderfully you

Do you remember where you were 20 years ago today? 

I do. 

It was the night that Ellen Degeneres "came out" on national television. I was in university and a big group of us got together to watch it. We were squished into a small apartment and we were all very aware of the importance of that moment. 

It seems like such a small thing. So Ellen's character said "I'm gay" in an episode? Why does that matter? 

It matters because 20 years ago, it made her lose her job. It matters because many of us are still closeted. Coming out had a huge impact on her life and her career, and it also paved the way for other queer people. Not just celebrities. 

I often forget that I live in a city that has a gay village.

I surround myself with accepting people. And have never faced (explicit) homophobia in my family. I am often complacent because of my privilege and my personal experiences. Once when I was 18, I was feeling very alone in my sexuality. My best friend Georgia said "I am probably the only half lesbian, completely heterosexual person you know ... My mom is from Athens, my Dad is from Lesbos. That makes me half Athenian and half Lesbian." It was a small act of kindness, and also days of giggles, but it made a major effect on my self worth. 

IN Toronto, there are still many spaces that are not welcoming, that are not safe. That are, in fact, dangerous.  IN Toronto, there are still many spaces that are not welcoming, that are not safe. That are, in fact, dangerous. 

Hate is taught. Tolerance is not the same as acceptance. Fear of sharing anything outside of heteronormativity is valid, is real, is understandable, is life altering, is suffocating, is deadly. 

Ellen Degeneres makes a bazillion dollars and is accepted because of her fame. Her privilege does not diminish her courage and her strength. Nor does it diminish the message she sent to the world. 

In my life, being queer has been fairly uneventful. It is not at the forefront of my identity like it did in my 20s. I am first and foremost a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a teacher, a writer, and a lover of foxes. And yet, there are still moments where being queer matters. Moments like being in a theatre with several thousand LGBTQ people singing with the Orlando choir a few months after the massacre at Pulse night club. 49 people died that night. 49 families and friends lost someone to hate. Hundreds of lives were changed. And thousands of people around the world felt the gut-wrenching pain, loss, and fear. 

Being in that theatre, singing along with the choir, crying with each other, holding hands and hugging strangers ... being queer was forefront to me then. It was a powerful, painful, wonderful, horrible, beautiful experience. 

It was an experience that reminded me that I am hated. Hated simply because of who I fell in love with and choose to spend my life with, not because of my actions or words. Not because of who I am. 

(You can watch the speech and the song here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=U1urPSxm7Gc please be prepared for self-care and support if you are feeling vulnerable) 

On this day, 20 years ago, Ellen Degeneres told the world that it is more than okay to say "I'm gay". 

Tonight I send love to my community of queers. 

To Singing Out! Chorus. 

To the men being tortured in Chechnya. 

To the people all over the world where being queer is against the law and comes with serious consequences, sometimes death. 

To the queer and questioning kids. 

To my trans family and friends. 

To the people ostracized by family, community, and their faith. 

Our resilience is in our commitment to each other, to social justice, to human rights.

Never give up. You are wonderfully you. 

xo ❤️

*All images are property of Fox Tales Art

**All images are available for sale with profits going to www.sheenasplace.org 

Email foxtaleskira@gmail.com for inquiries (Purchasing directly by email, even if the piece is on etsy, saves both of us money and can involve a negotiation in size and in price)

Or browse some options at 

www.etsy.com/ca/shop/FoxTalesByKira