That strange part of recovery where dreams and goals and nightmares blend into one as the ED voice lies to you, confuses you, and insists on perfectionism.
And you’ve reached the part of your journey where you don’t want to turn back, despite the allure and desire to join that voice; that voice that you were sure was telling you the truth; that voice that calls seductively for you to restrict, to have just one less, to spend just one more hour at the gym .... that strange part of recovery when you know you’ve come so far and you also know how easy it would be to go back. Just slip. Just this once.
Just until you meet THIS goal.
When I was 13, my aunt said “there’s no going back, it’s never the same.” At 40, I can see the seduction for what it is: lies.
Lies, pain, suffering, and death.
You will get through this stage and you will feel so powerful for your resistance.
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