Because nothing good comes from standing on the scale

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE: don't weigh yourself today. And if you can, throw out your scale. 

A scale tells you your weight in relation to gravity at that moment. 

It does not measure your kindness or compassion towards others. 

It does not measure your strength of character. 

It does not measure your 

thoughts, 

abilities, 

creativity, 

beauty, 

brilliance, 

radiance, 

or what kind of a friend you are. 

#notachoice #FoxTalesArtFatTalkFreeFebruary #edawareness #edadvocate #ed #eatingdisorder #edrecovery #recovery #bopo 

I am a person so treat me like one

This is one of the most beautiful pieces I have ever read. It's beauty is simple. It's beauty is in her choice to make herself vulnerable by sharing her story. It's beauty is in further making herself vulnerable by re-sharing the photo that caused her emotional pain. Her main plea "I am a person so treat me like one." This piece shows so much compassion towards herself. It has so many layers of body shaming: disability, chronic illness, invisible disability, eating disorder, and the dehumanizing of women over an idealized weight. She refers to herself as obese. She acknowledges her health struggles. And she points out the human impulse to be cruel at the expense of other people's lived experience. 

https://themighty.com/2017/02/response-viral-photo-woman-falling-off-cart-at-grocery-store/

Be kind. 

xoxo

Because Eating Disorders are a serious mental illness with high mortality rates

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE: look up 5 facts about eating disorders. Ask yourself if there was anything that surprised you. 

Eating disorders are not a choice. It is not a diet taken too far. Eating disorders can manifest in using food intake/outtake as a mean of control. Eating disorders are not a "white girl disease" but affect all races, cultures, genders, ages, abilities, ethnicities, sexualities, countries ...

"Individuals with eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. Many times, the media and other public discussions about eating disorders focus solely on individuals with a diagnosis of anorexia who are severely emaciated.  In reality, many individuals with anorexia may not ever appear so drastically underweight.  Furthermore, many individuals with severe disorders including bulimia, binge eating, and OSFED can be underweight, normal weight, overweight or obese and often fluctuate in weight. Even athletes who appear to be incredibly fit might be struggling with an eating disorder. The bottom line is that you cannot define someone’s health by how much they weigh and you cannot determine whether they have an eating disorder just by looking at them." - https://eatingdisorder.org/eating-disorder-information/facts-myths/

Be kind. 

xoxo

Because shaming someone's body has a major impact

 

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE:  filter your thoughts through a lens of kindness and compassion before you speak. 

You don't know what someone else struggles with internally. Only you can know your full story. 

This morning I read a comic strip about how the word "offended" is used when we actually mean "hurtful". 

http://www.upworthy.com/this-artist-brilliantly-tackles-the-concept-of-being-offended-in-a-colorful-comic

When fat jokes are acceptable, we are reinforcing the shame people feel about their bodies. Speaking up against things that are hurtful is hard. It is also necessary if we want to create any lasting change. 

Be kind. 

xoxo

 

Because making mistakes is how we learn

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE: today I am asking you to admit a mistake. 

My students know that the 2 most important things to me are kindness and mistakes. 

I have received predominantly positive feedback on this February campaign. With a few challenges thrown in to make life more interesting. I take my time to respond to people who question my message or say something hurtful like when a stranger on Instagram wrote "maybe you should lay off the pizza".  I choose to respond to these people with kindness and compassion. Thank them for validating my work. And wish them kindness in their hearts. 

But last week I was reacting to some feedback I had gotten that was making me frustrated. I was trying to explain that my art and my words have absolutely nothing to do with physical "health". My message is that your body is your business, and that we need to treat each other, AND OURSELVES, with kindness and compassion. Unfortunately in the moment,  I was feeling frustrated, and mad, and hurt. Fortunately I am human and I made a mistake in that post. 

Neuroscience research has shown that there is more brain activity when people make mistakes compared to people solving problems or answering questions and getting them right. This tells us that mistakes are what makes rich learning possible. 

Tonight, someone questioned me about part of that post. I hadn't thought about it at all. The moment she brought it up, I didn't even need her to explain. 

I did exactly what this entire campaign has been talking about NOT doing. I suggested that certain people not eat certain things. 

I can't be a spokesperson for a message of your body your choice if I am suggesting certain people NOT make their own choices. 

I body and food shamed people. 

I wrote that the challenge was to eat something your brain tells you is "bad". Then I qualified that by writing: 

"SAFELY! If you have a medical condition with food restrictions then please do not use any of the restricted foods! If you have celiac disease, don't eat gluten. If you have a heart condition, don't go get a giant cheese burger."

My message does not need a disclaimer. Especially a disclaimer that tells someone what they are not "supposed to" eat. Or tells the world that people with heart conditions can't eat cheeseburgers. 

Cheeseburgers are none of my business. 

Nothing you eat or don't eat is any of my business. 

My nephew said to me "I don't have to explain anything to you about my reasons for what I like or don't like to eat." Brilliant boy. ❤

My "challenges" are simply suggestions for ways to love your body. If you have celiac disease it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS what you eat. If you have any form of heart disease or heart condition IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS! I wrote that because I have been getting feedback from people about how my message implies it is "bad" to make "healthy" choices. So I reacted emotionally, to appease people, by trying to write a disclaimer that would placate my haters. 

That's not me. 

That's not my message. 

I want to apologize sincerely for misspeaking. For shaming. It was not right. It is not part of my message. It was not kind or compassionate. 

I am deeply grateful to the woman who brought it up with me for several reasons:

• I learned. And as my students would say, my brain grew
• It means people are reading me and hearing me
• I have the opportunity to write this apology  
• I strongly believe that the best learning happens in moments of discomfort 
• I was able to challenge my own thoughts around food and bodies and shame
• I felt a moment of honesty and vulnerability that allowed me to go into that place and come out more aware 
• Words have power. Words matter. My words are being read. 

So ... I apologize to anyone who may have felt shamed by that comment. I made a mistake. I learned. I grew. And maybe someone reading this will ask themselves their own questions. 

Your body, your business. 

Be kind. 

xoxo

Because literally ANY body can dance

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE: move, move, move. 

A friend we lost too soon used to post videos of her kitchen dance parties. This is at least the third time I have included that this month. I do it because it just feels good. Today, try including someone else in your mini dance party. It doesn't have to be the kitchen. 😏 just find a time and a spot and take 30 seconds if that's all you can muster up. 

Fox Tales Art focuses on the shaming of women's bodies. For the most part, I explore the embodied experience of shame of women who don't fit the current societally acceptable weight/shape/size. Today I wanted to acknowledge that there are all sizes of bodies that are shamed. Women are shamed for being too skinny, too tall, too bony, too fat, too lumpy, too curvy, not curvy enough, judged judged judged. 

Women's bodies are treated as public space that can be expected to conform to an impossible idealized standard that in 2017 Canada is not actually attainable. Part of our body shape/size/weight is genetics, is structure, is just how it is. Short of starving myself, I will never be "thin". Not like in the magazines. 

I can't imagine there are women out there who are smaller or bigger than the "ideal" who don't think about wanting to change. 

The main message I have is: YOUR BODY IS YOUR BUSINESS! Hands off. Comments off. No one has the right to comment on or influence YOUR body. You know what your body needs. 

 

Because nurturing your own sense of sexuality matters

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE: today, wear something that makes you FEEL sexy. What you look like is irrelevant. Sexy is a feeling. 

Only you get to decide what feels sexy to you. Is there a certain fabric that feels sensual to you? A colour? I read this weekend that it is important to nurture your sexual relationship with yourself (nod to NN). Today is Valentine's Day. Whether or not you celebrate it, whether or not you are partnered, single, involved, or "it's complicated", try giving yourself love and attention today. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a love note. Take a few minutes to find a way to show yourself that you love yourself - even if you feel like you don't. Today I want you to FEEL sexy from the inside out. Because sexy is a feeling and what you find sexy is defined by YOU. 

Because we weren't born with food-related shame

Because we weren't born with food-related shame. 

FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE: eat one thing today that your brain tells you is "bad". ** Eat one thing that you know you would enjoy. It doesn't have to be more than a piece. Or it can be a whole meal. Sit and eat that thing, tasting it. Eat it mindfully. Enjoy it. And ask yourself how it felt to allow yourself that indulgence. 

** SAFELY! If you have a medical condition with food restrictions then please do not use any of the restricted foods! If you have celiac disease, don't eat gluten. If you have a heart condition, don't go get a giant cheese burger. 

We aren't born afraid of food. We are born with the instinct to eat for survival. Our fears are learned. Food is just food. We need it to live. There is food that has high nutrient values, and there is food that had low nutrient value. We can eat all kinds of food. The trick is in finding the balance to enjoy a treat while still feeding our body what it needs to thrive. 

Let's teach our kids about nutrients. Let's guide them to make choices that will allow their bodies to thrive and grow. Let's not give them vocabulary that creates shame. Let's simply teach them to love feeding themselves the nutrients their bodies need. 

 

Resilience Rising

I am taking a day off from my Body Positivity Campaign. I want to take the time to honour a woman who inspired me to turn adversity into a way to help others. 

Jasmin and I went to high school together. We weren't friends in any traditional sense. But we were a small school and everyone in our grade knew each other. So we would talk and laugh together at school. 

We reconnected about 7 years ago and emailed back and forth once in awhile. She read my blog, I read hers. She encouraged my writing and my art. We were friends on Facebook and followed each other's lives through status updates and photos. 

When jasmin was 34, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

"I like to think of myself as a positive person. That theory was totally put to the test in 2011 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age thirty four. Then my mom who had been fighting cancer for 15 years passed away three months after my diagnosis. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself – I thought that remembering to breathe would be a good place to start – and so I did." - Jasmin 

Jasmin took her experience and created an organization called Stretch Heal Grow. They provide a weekend for young women living with breast cancer to learn wellness and self care. 

"My name is Jasmin, I was originally diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34.  At the time, my youngest daughter was only 7 months old. I found a lump while I was breastfeeding and went to get it checked out. I seriously thought it was just a blocked milk duct, turns out it wasn’t.

I went through several months of chemotherapy, a mastectomy, radiation and reconstruction surgery. During treatment I lost my mother who had been fighting cancer herself for over a decade. It was the most difficult, heartbreaking year of my life, but also a time of so much support, love and personal growth.

Then in November 2013, I was put to the test again as the cancer metastasized to my bones and caused problems with my spine. I had emergency spinal surgery and radiation to try and stabilize my body. So I am now in ongoing treatment and will be for the rest of my life. I am ready to battle for my life because there is still so much life to experience!

Cancer has messed with the wrong girl!

From the day I was diagnosed I decided that I wanted to help others through this difficult and life changing journey in some way.  It is so important to me to be of service and truly make a difference – and that is how STRETCH HEAL GROW came to be. Living with breast cancer is unique to each individual and self care is such key aspect of navigating through it all.

Be Well.

Jasmin"

Jasmin was always glowing and loving. A few years ago I added her photo, after her emergency spinal surgery, to our "wall of resilience" in my classroom. She managed always seemed to find something positive in challenging situations. 

She was a true representation of resilience. 

When I was 18, my best friend died. A few months before she died, she wrote this poem: 

Personal Light 

 

Each of us has our own little light inside

And after we die various things can happen to that light:

Some lights fade away into the darkness and nobody notices or cares about the loss of their light

Some lights shine brightly, but nobody wants or needs their light and some

Even despise the suffering the light brings

Other lights shine with a loving glow that encompasses all

Anyone who has ever felt the warmth of these beams keep a little glimmer of

Them with them wherever they go

These lights remain brilliant and everlasting

Every person chooses which light will shine within themselves and the type

Of light that will shine after them

(you can) light up the world (forever)

 

By Georgia Economides

Saturday June 11, 1994

Shine on Jasmin. 

Much love to her family and friends, especially her 2 little girls. 

xo

Because dancing feels good

Because dancing feels good. 

 FAT-TALK-FREE FEBRUARY DAILY CHALLENGE:  HAVE ANOTHER KITCHEN DANCE PARTY! You can never have enough of those. While you're cooking today, play some music you love and move your body to the rhythm in a way that makes you feel good. 

(All art from the FTFFDC are available for sale with profits going to Sheena's Place)